Building confident learners through Awe and Wonder

Separation anxiety is a normal and healthy part of early childhood development. It is a sign that your child has formed a strong attachment and feels safest with the people they know best. While this can be reassuring to understand, it does not always make the experience easier for parents when tears, clinginess, or distress appear at drop-off or during changes in routine.

The good news is that separation anxiety is temporary and, with the right support, children learn to feel safe and confident even when you are not physically present.

Understanding Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety commonly appears between six months and three years of age, though it can resurface at different stages, particularly during times of change such as starting nursery, moving rooms, or experiencing a new family routine.

Young children do not yet have a clear understanding of time. When a parent leaves, it can feel very final in that moment. Their emotional response is not a reflection of how they will cope long term, but rather an expression of uncertainty and a need for reassurance.

Preparing Your Child in Advance

Preparation plays an important role in supporting children through separation. Talking calmly and positively about where they are going and who will be caring for them helps build familiarity. For toddlers and preschool children, using simple, consistent language is often more effective than detailed explanations.

Reading books about nursery or time apart can also help children recognise and name their feelings. Reassuring your child that you will return, and that they will be safe and cared for, helps to build trust over time.

Maintaining predictable routines at home, particularly around mornings, sleep, and mealtimes, gives children a sense of security during periods of change.

The Importance of Consistent Goodbyes

One of the most effective ways to support children experiencing separation anxiety is through consistent, calm goodbyes. While it can be tempting to linger or return for extra reassurance, this can sometimes increase uncertainty.

A warm, confident goodbye, even if your child is upset, helps them understand what to expect. Children learn through repetition, and consistent routines allow them to predict what will happen next. Trusting staff to take over with care and reassurance allows children to settle and begin engaging with their environment.

How We Support Separation Anxiety at Redbrick

At Redbrick, we understand that separation anxiety is a significant emotional experience for both children and parents. Our approach is gentle, responsive, and individual to each child.

Our key person system ensures that every child has a familiar, trusted adult who builds a strong attachment with them from the very beginning. This relationship provides consistency, reassurance, and emotional security, particularly during drop-off times and periods of transition.

We work closely with families during the settling-in period, adapting our approach to meet each child’s needs. Practitioners offer calm reassurance, comfort, and sensitive support, helping children to feel safe while gently encouraging engagement in play and routines.

We also place great importance on clear communication with parents. Sharing how children settle after drop-off and discussing strategies together helps build trust and consistency between home and nursery.

Supporting Your Child at Home

Children experiencing separation anxiety may show changes in behaviour at home, such as increased clinginess, tiredness, or emotional outbursts. These behaviours are a normal response to processing new experiences.

Offering extra reassurance, calm evenings, and quality time together can help children regulate their emotions. Naming feelings in a supportive way, such as acknowledging that they missed you or felt unsure, helps children feel understood.

Avoiding negative language about separation and remaining calm, even when you feel anxious yourself, helps children feel safe and supported.

Supporting Yourself Through the Process

It is important to acknowledge that separation anxiety affects parents too. Seeing your child upset can be distressing, and it is natural to question whether you are doing the right thing.

Trust that your child is learning valuable emotional skills, including resilience, confidence, and trust in others. With time, familiarity, and consistent support, separation becomes easier and children begin to enjoy the independence and social opportunities nursery provides.

When to Seek Further Support

If separation anxiety feels intense or prolonged, open communication with your nursery team is essential. Working together allows strategies to be reviewed and adapted to meet your child’s individual needs.

In most cases, separation anxiety eases naturally as children grow in confidence and understanding.

A Journey of Trust and Growth

 

Supporting a child through separation anxiety is not about removing their feelings, but about helping them feel safe as they work through them. With patience, reassurance, and strong partnerships between home and nursery, children learn that they can cope, connect, and thrive.